Let's Get Real: Why I've Been MIA + Updates.

These past six months have been absolutely horrible and chaotic and I just want to start this b apologizing to all of you…. Again.
I figured everything would be settled by now. It isn’t.
I figured the doctor would know what was wrong by now. They don’t.
I went for an MRI on my brain on Friday – my doctor wants to be sure there’s nothing wrong – and I wasn’t able to do it. I’m claustrophobic and I have terrible anxiety. (This is something I’ve been pretty open with on here. It’s also a huge reason – along with money – as to why I haven’t attended a convention as an author. I’d make myself sick with fear.) We tried two different machines, and I just couldn’t do it, especially since the doctor said I’d be on the table for over an hour. I have to go back to my doctor now and find a place nearby that does an open MRI. And then I have to wait for my health insurance to approve it before I can go get the MRI done.
To say that I’m stressed and at my breaking point would be putting it lightly. There’s only so much that I can handle. Being lightheaded, dizzy, and sick to my stomach every single day? That I can’t handle. Not to mention, I’ve currently had to revamp my entire diet due to my food allergies getting worse. On one hand, I’m okay with this as it’s forcing me to eat healthier. On the other hand, what I can eat is so limited right now that I’m going to need to go on vitamins in order to make it so that I’m not as sick. (I’ve also been dealing with anemia for about five-six years now too, which doesn’t help much.) I’m on a non-dairy diet, which is getting hard to adjust to, but it is helping with my throat.
That’s one good thing: I’m not having as much trouble swallowing/breathing these days.
But yeah, I’m nowhere near where I should be at health-wise.
I keep getting terrible dizzy spells, my throat still closes from time to time, and I’m just generally always exhausted. Work takes it out of me. I am active on the Marvel fan blog I contribute to, but other than that? I’ve kind of cut everything off.
That also includes my writing.
I have been working on The Untold Stories off and on, but everything else? I start back on it, and then I completely stop for about two weeks before touching it again. I’m trying to push myself, I just don’t have the motivation to write right now.
This is why I haven’t been around.
This is why I haven’t released anything this year.
I feel like a jackass for it, trust me.
I had all of these plans for 2015… and we’re four months in and I’ve accomplished NONE of them.
For this, I am beyond sorry. You guys don’t deserve to be kept waiting.
So here is what I’m going to do: Collide (Episode Two) will be ready in a few weeks. I need to do another read through or two, do some more edits, and purchase a cover. (Fun fact? Doctor Appointments, MRIs, etc. are all super expensive… or else this would have been done weeks ago.) Once I post the cover, expect the eBook to follow about a week afterwards. The Untold Stories should follow after.

On a happier note? I have contacted both of my cover designers about projects I planned to have done a while ago. The cover for Rebirth will be ready next month. If you were an entrant in that giveaway on Facebook? Your signed print of the cover will go out late in May. (Please e-mail me your mailing address if you haven’t done so already.) As for the rest of the Emile Reed Chronicles covers, I’ve contacted Carrie about those. But she’s a writer too, a pretty awesome one at that, and I won’t have an idea of when those will be ready for some time.
I don’t want to set a schedule for anything else for the rest of the year. All I can promise is that, after I release The Untold Stories, which will include The Program Manual, I will be focusing solely on the Collide series. Given that each installment will receive its own cover, those will either be released monthly or bi-monthly. It depends on how much these doctor visits continue to drain my bank account. As for what will come after? It’ll more than likely be Rebirth, as Christa will have the cover completed for that one in May, but I can’t promise anything.
I do apologize for this crap.
I think to make up for it, I’ll rework some of my old projects and go ahead and publish those so that you guys have something. (There are a ton of them.)
I adore each and every one of you, and I hope to be around more soon.
<3 Nicole

P.S. I apologize in advance for any errors. I didn't have my glasses on when I wrote this, and I honestly have no clue where the heck I put them.


  1. I hope everything can get sorted soon and you get better <3

  2. Feel better, Nicole! I definitely understand the anxiety aspect. Email me whenever you want to figure out the rest of the Chronicles, and I'll find a way to make it happen. :)